Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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