if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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