New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
