After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
