If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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