Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
