I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so let's talk penis.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
