I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
