we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
