Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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