It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize