you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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