ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize