Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
