is your mom at the bar?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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