He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
