Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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