i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize