either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
