yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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