Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
