can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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