So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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