its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
