Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
