Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
