he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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