I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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