i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize