TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
