Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
