YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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