Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
