you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My penis needs a shock collar
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize