I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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