I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
