I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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