I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
