It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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