I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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