i just wanna soil my oats bro
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
