And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize