Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
