ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
