Walk of Shame today included voting.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize