just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
two words...techno handjob
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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