I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
