Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
