would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
