it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
