I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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