i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
