i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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