i don't like sucking hair
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Bring me that man meat
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
