You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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