I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
