you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
