Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize