You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize