one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
