Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
