I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just forgot I was standing up.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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