What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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