I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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