just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
