Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
