yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm passing your future prison.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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