I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
