Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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