Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
His nipple licking is glorious
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