he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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