o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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