He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
