if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
