It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
