He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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