I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
